The Perils of Looking through Your Eyelashes

I've been working on it for a few minutes now. No matter how hard I try it does not work. Moving my eyes this way and that till I'm crossed eyed makes no difference. It's impossible to look through my eye lashes.

Now you would have thought a scientific study would have been done long before this about this serious matter. What will all the writers of romance do without this handy looking-at-someone-without-looking-like-you're-looking-at-them device? How many books in the genre will be effected by this astonishing bit of news?

Now I have to admit, if a person has downward sloping eyelashes or falsies for that matter this might be achievable. Which makes me wonder why such things are required to be cast as the romantic interest in a romance novel.

Can't people with upward sloping eyelashes fall in love? What kind of prejudice is this? People whose eyelashes slope up are not romantically inclined??? Isn't it time we shine a bright light on this issue? Isn't it time to make a stand and say "Hey! My eyelashes slope upward and I still fell in love!"

I just want to voice my outrage that this issue has been completely ignored by the press. Everyone just reads their romance novels and blindly ignores the perils of trying to look through eyelashes! I was going cross eyed just trying it. There could be naive young girls all over the country trying this out on unsuspecting males who will be frightened out of their wits when they call 911 to report girls having siezures. 911 could become flooded with calls - real emergencies could go unattended - disaster could ensue.

What is needed here is a public awareness campaign. People could be analyzed, their eye lash type could be determined and they could be approved or rejected for looking through their eyelashes and those who do not qualify could be provided counseling to correct the misconception that the ability to look through one's eyelashes is crucial to flirting, courtship and marriage.

Ahhh... Those Enchanting Summer Mornings... Almost...

There's something about waking up on a summer morning to the sound of the birds singing outside my window and I hear the faintest swoosh of wind that promises a green, lush day and I feel a smile spreading across my face before I open my eyes in a state of sleepy utopia.

This morning I was startled awake to the bong of a bird that flew into my window because it thought the reflection of the sky it saw in the glass was real.

Well, you know me; I can't let an interesting analogy like that go untouched. I was reflecting on it this morning and started to wonder if this will be a singing bird day or a bird bonging day. Unfortunately, I foresee a potential train wreck in my near future regardless of my efforts to avert it and despite this keep humming and singing songs in my head - am I trying to induce some sort of delusional attitude here or am I simply being optimistic? 

And what's wrong with being optimistic anyway? If I'm hopeful about my life one of two things will happen. 1. My expectations will be fulfilled and my hope was for good cause. OR 2. My expectations will not be filled, but I felt positive and hopeful before they went downhill and I prevented a lot of needless worrying and grief - up until the last minute anyway. Either way I see it hope is a win-win situation.

Besides, I've noticed from personal observation there are more birds singing in the mornings than there are birds determined to maim themselves on my windows. 

The Secret Life of Slugs

So I've been sitting around since I have pneumonia an I'm supposed to be doing a good impression of a slug so I won't do too much and sabotage a recovery. The problem is, I don't think slugs live very interesting lives. Now maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Maybe slugs have a whole wild private side I don't know about. If they do I apologize. I don't want any offended slugs making comments here, but from what I see they just kind of creep along in an ooze of slime and eat things I wish they didn't. I'm not privy to the secret life of slugs and I'm no expert. All I'm saying here is that impersonating a slug is boring. That's my disclaimer so if there are any irate slugs out there please keep your opinions to yourself.

In an effort to entertain myself I've been on facebook, pinterest, goodreads, and all kinds of other websites and basically boring myself more than I already was. I tried TV yesterday, but let's face it, I'm not a big movie/TV fan. So in total desperation I've turned to posting on my blog. Yes, you've wondered what it takes for that to happen. Now you know.

I'm going to backtrack to after goodreads and before my boredom induced urge to blog. I gave up on the internet and turned to the books I've written. I thought maybe there would be some revising I could do or something. I opened up the first one I wrote and I realized there really does come a point at which I've done everything I can possibly do. My skills only reach so far and in this first effort the only way to write the book better would be to write a different book. I guess that's why I wrote the second book and am working on the third. There are things that improve with each effort but there are times when I feel the limitations of my writing ability. To be more specific, I don't know how my books are supposed to entertain anyone when they are boring me.

Perhaps, just perhaps writing isn't something I should do when I'm bored.