Some Things Are More Fun Than Being Ill but That Doesn't Make Them Fun

Things I'd rather do than be sick:

1. Gut a fish.

2. Eat cow eyeballs.

3. Have my gums scraped.

4. Pick up bugs.

5. Moderate an altercation between teenagers.

6. Run a marathon.

7. Run at all.

8. Bathe a cat.

9. Speak in public.

10. Die.