Fuzzy Kittens and Rainbows

There' s a heavy metal song I heard bits of on the radio as my son flipped through channels the other day that illustrates just what's so amusing about the genre.

The guitars are squealing and the singers are screaming an almost incoherent lyric. Almost incoherent. It doesn't take me long to realize they are screeching about someone they love and how they are like a rainbow in the dark. A rainbow in the dark? That's sounds really... pretty.

So, in the spirit of things I thought I'd write a heavy metal song myself. You'll have to imagine the wailing of the guitars and the throat numbing squalling yourself as you read the lyric.

Kittens, bounding kittens, happy kittens. 

By your wondrous, sparkling eyes, wet nose, 

and cute little tails I am forever smitten.

Is there anything more ethereal than a kitten?
(Raucous multiple guitar solo here.)

Kittens, loving kittens, fluffy kittens.

Playful and joyful I fill my arms with your love. 

When I'm down my spirits you will nudge.

My heart swells, my heart sways,

my heart breaks at your pulchritude-iness ways.
(Lead singer breaks into agonized, incomprehensible caterwauling here.)

Kittens, rolling kittens, gamboling kittens.

Brown and yellow, black or grey,

The softness of your fur I could touch all day. 

Kittens, fuzzing kittens, purring kittens.

Sweetness and light. Sweetness and love.
(Deafening crescendo of crashing guitars and the last death breaths of all singers.)

You're like a star from up above.

Kittens, beautiful kittens, lovely kittens.

Little mewing member of the cat family.

You will always be a kitten to me. 

Maybe next week I'll write a country-western song...