Kid Quotes 2

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Oh hi! It's been awhile. I have this pesky habit of forgetting that I blog. Anyway, here's the next edition of kid quotes. 

11. I hear a cry of pain from the kitchen. Then I hear someone say in an anguished voice, "You're worth it."

My son comes in the room eating a popsicle. "My popsicle fell in the garbage, but I decided to eat it anyway.

"I hope you rinsed it off first," I say.

He says, "But that would waste some popsicle."

12. 

We were discussing the horrors of shots.

Me: When you were little you told me not to tell you when you were getting allergy shots. You told me to surprise you with them so you wouldn't be wigging out the whole way. The problem is, you learned how to get there and recognized where we were going.

Kid: You were supposed to change how you went! Don't you know how stressful wigging out is?

13. 

After crashing my blog a few times, accidentally deleting the entire thing (good thing I'd been reading about backing things up lately), and locking myself out of administrative capabilities, I've decided to quit blogging, writing and anything remotely related to technology and run away to join the circus.

Either that or I'll have to go buy some shoes. (sigh, yes, also me)

14. Waking the girl up in the morning is not an easy job. Unless, as I found out this morning purely by coincidence, you mention the word 'brownie'. Suddenly, the head pops up and someone's wide awake, which makes me think I'm doing this all wrong. What I ought to be doing is wafting a chocolate bar under her nose each morning.

15. Kid: We're out of milk.
Me: Eh, we have bread and water, there's still plenty to eat.
The day passes. Evening comes.
Kid: The bread's gone. Now we're out of prison food AND milk.

16.

Me: Be sure you're washing all the pans you cook with.

Kid: You know what we need? Paper pans.
Me: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Kid: Mother! You're supposed to support my creatvity!

So that's what I've been doing wrong all these years. Advocating common sense over creativity.

17. Kid#1: What is it about pizza? Everyone on the planet loves pizza.

Kid#2: Not everyone. You get those weirdos at school who go around saying they don't like pizza. I don't know why they didn't get bullied.

18.

My kid has plantar warts. We go to the dermatologist. They scrape his feet with a razor blade. They freeze them. They inject them. He sits there as if nothing is going on. We get in the car; run errands. He gets out of the car.

A blob of cold slushy wet snow hits his leg. He screams like a girl.

19.

Kid: Hey! Why is my toast burned? I set it lower than usual!

Me: maybe the toaster is dying they get that way near the end sometimes.

Kid: That is not okay. I don't want my bread molested.

20. Kid: There's something off about this kiwi.
Me: Yeah it still has a peel on it.
Kid: No. It's really sweet.
Me: AND it has a peel on it!
Kid: More fiber, Mom.