I know it's taken a while to get to the next segment on our writing badly series and I apologize to all the budding new authors out there who needed some more direction on how to make their novel really stink, but I usually don't post unless I'm unusually ill and bored out of my mind and it's taken awhile for my bad health to take it's toll this time. I guess I'm just incurably optimistic.
Today I want to talk about repetition. This is the best way to bore your reader. There are several methods you can use:
1. Have your character think something, say what they thought, then think about what they said.
2. Tell us what's about to happen, show it to us, then tell us what just happened
3. Write a scene from one character's perspective, switch characters and show the exact same scene again from that character's perspective - trust me on this one, it will bring your story to a dead stand still.
As a bonus - make a scene extra boring in these ways:
1. Use as many passive sentences as you possibly can.
2. Tell us everything, show us nothing.
3. Assume your reader is stupid and state the obvious.
4. Interrupt any action that might be taking place. You can do this by describing something or expressing someone's thoughts, or by putting dialog where it shouldn't be - get creative! There are many ways to interrupt action.
Any of these methods are guaranteed to make your story dry as toast. Try them all and you won't have any readers at all! Just think of the possibilities!
