I've decided to put together a bad writing- how to- guide for those who want to write truly terrible books. There seems to be a big hole in the market for this. If you look at the writing section of the library or bookstore or look online there are myriads of authors covering writing well - but no one seems to cover writing terribly. So I thought it was high time I did something about this and start a series of posts on how to make lots of writing mistakes and have a final product that is as badly crafted as anyone could wish.
First, let's discuss how to make the main character arrogant and therefor unlikeable. Everyone knows that in good writing the main character is likable so for our purposes making the main character unlikeable will be a big goal.
Arrogant is easy to achieve. If written in first person have lots of paragraphs and sentences start with the word ' I '. Also be sure to include the words, 'clearly', 'obviously', and 'I knew'. These last three work no mater what point of view your book is written in. Check your manuscript - is the main character using these words a lot? If so - congratulations! you're main character is arrogant! You did it! Pat yourself on the back.
Here are some examples:
The man was wearing a navy blue pin striped suit and a red tie, he was clearly trying to make a power statement and it would have worked if it hadn't been for the orange socks.
She was obviously upset. Tears were running down her cheeks.
Penelope knew Sharon was the kind of person who would call in sick to get out of inventory.
Note: Taken by themselves they seem fairly tepid, but be sure to multiply them so they are sprinkled throughout your work. Also notice the words are pointing out things the reader can work out for themselves - extra bonus points if you did that in your manuscript!
Stay tuned: Next time we will discuss how to make your manuscript melodramatic! Oh boy!
