Joy in the Morning

It's the little things that make life so nice. The soft fur on my bunnies as I pet them, the taste of ripe fruit, the smell of lilacs, the color of my peace roses when they are in bloom, a really comfortable place to sit, a good book to read, my kids, time with my husband. Little details throughout the day add up to happiness. A huge house, a large bank account, professional acclaim, none of those things can bring what nature and companionship can.

This morning some quail with their tiny offspring was a source of joy. I ran from window to window to get a good look at them without disturbing them. There are only six this year. But what a miracle those six really are! They'll eat my strawberries, cherries, raspberries and peaches until the babies are full sized and the adults are rippling with fat for the winter but it seems a small price to pay to be able to watch them run in and out of our bushes and for the occasional treat of seeing these teeny little ones scurrying around with their parents. How grateful I am for the little bits of nature that come into my yard and gladden my life!

The Snobbery of Our Day

Another season of feeling terrible and another post. This is how it works. Once I've been sick long enough to be in a bad mood I post a rant. Cheerful isn't it?

And the more trivial the better right? 

This morning for inexplicable reasons I was thinking of blue toilet water. Yes, blue. Fun huh? But really I was reminded of an interior decorating article on do's and dont's for your home. On the list was blue toilet water.

Now for those of you who don't know there is a chemical you can put in your toilet tank that cleans your toilet bowl each time you flush and sometimes this chemical is blue.

You know where I'm going with this.

Who cares?

I mean really, what does it matter if toilet water is blue? I stick a white one in mine and for the first few unfortunate souls who go in there while it's brand new they suffer the risk of asphixiation for a few days because it has bleach in it. Technically, according to the article that's okay because the water is clear but what about my unsuspecting house guest who ends up passed out on the floor? Or my reputation when someone thinks I've slipped something in their kool-aid? But blue - no.

So apparently a visual sign that someone cares about the cleanliness of their bathroom and doesn't want to kill you is a design no - no. Hmmmm....

Let's put this in perspective shall we? Without getting too graphic here let's take a moment of silence to contemplate what we put in toilets (and no, I'm not talking about the plastic dinosaurs and such that every little boy inevitably will try to flush). Seriously, is blue cleaner you can see after each flush that bad? Frankly, I'd rather see that than any evidences of other activities that have taken place on this lovely shrine of our humanity (hence the bleach smell - let's face it, the blue stuff might not be strong enough).

But enough of that!

This post is about the snobbery in our society. My husband pointed out an article the other day about granite counter tops. Have you ever priced those things? Yikes. But now, since everyone has them no one wants them. This article said if you're selling you're home you'd better get rid of those outdated, boring things - you want something that will set you apart - quartz - which coincidentally or not coincidentally is more expensive.

Do people love snobbery so much because it makes them feel superior? As long as they can look down at their fellow men about something it gives them value of some kind albeit artificial at best. What possesses a person to sneer at another unless it's a deep feeling of inferiority?

OR is this really about getting us to spend more? It's a good ploy for it. You are not with it. You are irrelevant. You don't get it unless you buy this! Or buy that! Spend! Spend! Spend! Otherwise you are worthy of nothing but snickering derision.

Think about it, there's always someone feeling superior about something. Usually about things that do not matter. Are you wearing the right jeans? No - gasp! Are you wearing the right shoes? No - swoon. Are you carrying the right purse? No - faint.  And men, you are not exempt. So wipe the smug smile off your face because here are some gender neutral issues - do you have the right job, car, significant other? Ahhhhh!!!! Clothes, jobs, and cars! Oh my!

Living with Men

Four out of my five children are boys. The youngest of those boys is 13. Between them and my husband I've learned quite a bit about living with men over the years. I'm thinking about posting an occasional series on this. Some of the points may sound kind of funny, but they are real points of information with real life examples.

1. When a bunch of guys get together and get a brilliant idea it will somehow lead to injury or damage to personal property. Or both.

Example:
Idea:We can get down the stairs faster by jumping.
Net result: a trip to the doctor and a head shaped indentation on the ceiling leading to the bottom of the stairwell.


2. If there is a way to avoid using bowls, plates, cups or utensils they will find a way.

Example: 'Look! We don't need bowls to eat our salads!' The guy demonstrates by grabbing a handful of salad, squirts dressing on it then stuffs the whole thing in his mouth and repeats the action a couple times.
The next guy scoffs, 'I don't need to eat out of my hands', he proceeds to stick a bunch of salad in his mouth and squirts dressing directly on it. The next second he's hopping around screaming and laughing at the same time, 'AAHH!! Too much dressing! Too much dressing! It Burns!!!'

Which just goes to show no matter how dumb an idea is in the first place there's always another guy around to think of a dumber one. 

3. Men are incapable of predicting what will happen next.

Example: When they decide to slide down the staircase in nylon sleeping bags all at the same time they are surprised when after tearing down the stairs at 80 mph they end up in a painful, crying heap at the bottom and that they've squashed the baby in the process. 

4. Teenage boys will act like slugs and ignore you all day but, when 10:00 PM rolls around they will either suddenly start wrestling and making inhuman noises and clumping all over the house or they will want to snuggle with an exhausted mom and dad and talk for three hours. If you don't take advantage of that you won't hear from them again for six months.

5. Men need to expend lots of energy throughout the day. If they don't, personal injury and property damage will ensue. Trust me on this one. They're like dogs, they need exercise. 

6. If you ever ask a man to do something - DON'T ever criticize the job they've done or they will NEVER do it again.

7. Men think women are the touchy, feely ones - which may or may not be true, but men are far more sensitive than women. The male ego is a fragile thing.

8. If you make a rule of any kind you have to be careful about your wording.

Example:
Mom: Don't slide down the stairs in laundry baskets! It's dangerous! Someone's going to get killed!'
An hour later:
Mom: I told you not to slide down the stairs!
Kids: You said not in laundry baskets, these are sleeping bags.
Mom: You are not to slide down the stairs in anything or on anything or with anything or anything like unto it!
15 minutes later:
Mom: I told you NO sliding down the stairs!
Kids: We're not!
Mom: Then why is your brother at the bottom of the stairs crying?
Kids: We jumped.

9. No household with boys should have full length staircases of any kind.

10. The only way to modify a boy's behavior is to stop what they are doing mid action. If you must use words limit them to no more than three. If you lecture them they will tune you out after the first sentence, so skip the lecture and make what you say count.

Example:
When a kid is about to hit his brother stop his arm mid swing and say 'No hitting.' This is very effective - the male mind responds to action.

11. Men will speak with grunts. The non-committal grunt being their specialty.

Example:
Mom: Did you haul your dirty laundry?
Kid: grunt
Mom: Was that a yes grunt or a no grunt?
Kid: Yes, mom, I shouldn't have to explain every grunt! 

12. Male children will make anything at hand into a weapon. This fully hit me when my first child, who had no toy weapons at the time, was at a friends house and used the friend's little sister's Barbie doll as a machine gun. He pointed one arm down which became a trigger and the rest of the doll was the barrel. 

13. If there is any kind of loft, balcony, overhang, or ledge in your house they will find a way to pelt things onto it or off of it or climb it. If there isn't any they will do it from your roof.

14. Every family over a certain number of children has a climber. The climber is usually also a Houdini and can overcome any lock or child proof mechanism known to man. If that child also happens to be a boy - watch out - males tend to do things first, then think about them after they've ended in disaster.

14. Be sure to cuddle all your men, laugh with them, and love them as much as possible. This makes everyone happy, including mom.