One of these days I may get serious about this blog. But probably not. I read a fake rejection letter for Harry Potter and it was so amusing I decided to write one for Pride and Prejudice.
Dear Ms. Austen,
Thank you for submitting your manuscript for Pride and Prejudice however we are currently seeking Gothic Romance novels at this time. Unfortunately our reading public is not interested in predictable novels and I'm not sure what made you think writing about everyday life was a good idea. Since I live it everyday myself I definitely do not want to read about it too.
There was a problem with the premise as well. The idea of a penniless woman marrying a man of substantial income is most unlikely. You may want to rethink a device of this kind in writing any future novels. Your efforts may be rewarded if you employ generous amounts of suspense, sex and blood in your subsequent endeavors.
Feel free however to feel a great sense of accomplishment over completing a novel. It's acceptable to have a hobby and writing is not an objectionable pursuit of elegant ladies as long as they keep it secret and use a pseudonym, preferably male.
Sincerely,
The Editor
Pardon me for not noticing it before, but how can you (the editor) say that Jane Austen's work is predictable? She's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully crafted!