Is There a Doctor in the House?

I have a fun idea! Let's talk about something horrifying!

There comes a point in the world of unhealthiness where one feels the need to spout off about nasty things - and I've gotten there.

Yup, I've crossed that line. I invite you to cross it with me, because you're so special, er...whoever you are.

I had a CT scan yesterday. It was a witch hunt for a kidney stone that was supposed to be gone a month ago. They found it. Right where it was - a month ago. Hasn't budged, not one nip. This tiny little stone has progressed from inconvenient, to annoying, to uncomfortable to making itself completely obnoxious.

If it isn't gone by Monday they are going to surgically remove the thing.

Now I've been through this before. I know what that means.

It's kind of like when you go into the doctor and they say something like, "This will pinch a little." The real interpretation of that should be "This is going to hurt so bad you'll be begging for narcotics." Or when they say "This is going to hurt a little." That means, "This is going to hurt so much, you're going to wish you were dead."

I had a stone years ago that was so big it tore up my ureter (Hey, I know, too much information, but that's what you get when you keep reading past the first couple lines! I warned you!). They dug it out of there, and in it's place they put a stent! A stent! Do you know what that is in urological terms????????

Because this is a family site I'm not going to say, specifically, just where it goes, but I will say this, it's function is to allow any remaining stones to come out.

And it's horrifyingly uncomfortable. Seriously, I wanted to renege on the deal. I'd take my 9 mm stone back, and they could take their stent and I'd tell them where to stick it.

So guess what I'm doing? Gorging myself on fluids until my eyeballs float. Every time I don't feel like taking another swallow I think of that stent and I suddenly find my motivation. There's a bigger picture at stake here - reason for overindulging in liquids. And if I drown myself in them there's another plus - if I'm dead they can't very well put that stent in now, can they? Ah, the silver lining.