Doing What I Like to Do.

I think my brains are addled.

Seriously, this thing's getting so convoluted I can't think straight.

Okay, so here's the problem with writing mysteries. They're hard. Writing romances is a walk in the park compared to this. How long have I been working on this novel? Will it never end? And of course, of course, as usual this mystery just cannot take itself seriously. Nothing I write can take itself seriously.

Whine, whine, complain, complain.

Of course, the beautiful thing about having writing as a hobby and not as a profession is that I can write whatever I want, whenever I want. I can change genres as many times as I feel like it. There are no rules I have to follow. And if it takes me six years to write one book there's no one to complain about it but me.

It's kind of gotten me thinking about the future of publishing. Will there be more and more people like me, who prefer not to deal with publishing companies and literary agents, deadlines and pressure? Perhaps that's why the e-book trade is flourishing?

I suppose if someone were very serious about selling gobs of books they may want to go that route. But think of the marketing! Is there anything more horrifying than having to do book signings or radio spots or television time?

No. Much better to hide out at home and type away huddled in a comfy chair and a quilt and delve into thoughts of my own invention all by myself. I do like that I can make what I write available to friends and family and the occasional other person I don't know, all strictly online. Do a little formatting and wallah! A book! No fuss, so easy, now everyone can read it (or not). No pressure on me, no pressure on them. Then I can focus on what I like to do - writing.

A New Sick and Bored List!

I know you are all dying for a new edition on what to do when you're sick and bored, so let's get started and see where it takes us.

1. Stare at your house until you truly detest it. As soon as you're well, waste all your energy repainting everything, which makes you sick again, so you have to stare at your house again, but at least you're staring at something new...for now.... This is the activity that never ends. It just keeps going and going.

2. Stare longingly outside your bedroom window. Think of all the things you would plant if you could spend time outdoors. When you're tired of this, change windows. Since there are a million windows in your house, this activity could last all day.

3. Stare at the TV but don't turn it on. You're sick of TV.

4. Read (Ha! You thought I'd say 'stare' again!) so many books people think there's something wrong with you. (Well, actually there is, it's called 'chronic illness'.)

5. Play with your food, because actually eating it will only yield horrifying results. (There's an entire post on playing with food while you're sick somewhere on this blog.)

6. Plan vacations you can never take.

7. Pet every single bunny in the house. (What? Not everything on the list can drip with the cold bitterness of a wasted life.)

8. Think of the people you love and notice all the little things they do for you.

9. Remember you never would have spent so much time with family, been able to pet bunnies, begun writing novels, or read a zillion books a year if you hadn't been sick most of the time.

10. Realize that life is good anyway.

The Worst Torture I Know

I'm delirious with fatigue. I'm never going to make it.  I can't even get through the next hour. My eye lids keep closing, my head keeps dropping. It's no use.

All because some seriously unbalanced people out there like playing with the time. This wreaks havoc on systems like mine that are finely tuned to the hours of the day. I'm the person who wakes up every morning two seconds before the alarm goes off. I'm the person who says 'that will take three hours,' and guess what? It takes three hours. I'm the person who says to her kids on the phone from the grocery store 'I'll be home in 20 minutes,' and then I get home in twenty minutes. I have a built in awareness of time and you know what screws that up? CHANGING THE TIME!!!!! It's torture! I have to reset my inner clock! Do you know how hard that is? I'll spend from now until fall trying, I'll be exhausted and wrong footed the entire time! I'll be late for appointments, I'll wake up and go to sleep at the wrong times, I'll get hungry when I'm not supposed to. It'll be pandemonium!!!! And just when I've got it down, just when I've got everything readjusted, figured out, and running smoothly,  THEY'LL CHANGE IT AGAIN!!!!!!

Do these people really understand how horrifying daylight savings time really is? I mean, really, what is the point? Why do we torture ourselves with this? Are we sadists or masochists or something? I can't even be funny about it.

In honor of this dismal event I've compiled a list of ten things better than daylight savings, because I like lists. There's a weird kind of comfort in quantifying disaster.

1. Public speaking.

2. Waiting in line at the DMV.

3. Root canals.

4. Kidney stones.

5. Dismemberment.

6. Dining with in laws.

7. Bankruptcy.

8. Eating bugs. 

9. Door to door salespeople.

10. Death.